24 YOGI BERRA QUOTES AND THE PROFESSIONS THAT SHOULD BE MEDITATING ON THEM

Yogi Berra doesn’t need any introduction. Neither do his legendary quotes which are inevitably funny to almost all of us. But many of those quotes which though funny on the surface, are quite wise once you think deeply about them. And in our opinion, some professions/people should really do that job of thinking deeply about them.
So here are 24 of those quotes and the corresponding people/professions who in our opinion should take the quotes and meditate on them like Buddha till they find enlightenment below… the ‘Yogi Berra’ tree.

1. I never said most of the things I said

Who should be meditating?

Journalists… who keep attributing stuff to people they never said for the sake of sound bites. In fact, even in this article some of the quotes attributed to Berra are disputed, as he is implying in this quote. Unfortunately, due to some over-ambitious journalists, we shall never know.

2. If you ask me anything I don’t know, I am not going to answer.

Who should be meditating?

Politicians and Government officials and PR department blokes who keep pretending to have an answer to everything, especially things that they have no clue about.

3. It ain’t the heat; it’s the humility.

Who should be meditating?

Yoga-teachers and gurus who are out to make a fast buck by exploiting Yoga. More than getting the temperatures right during ‘Hot Yoga’, they should care about getting the message and their character right, isn’t it?

4. “Even Napoleon had his Watergate.”

Who should be meditating?

Historians and history-teachers who think history is about getting names and dates right and not what were the implications of important events. As the philosopher George Santayana said: “Those who forget history are condemned to repeat it.” Those who only focus on getting names and dates right are equally condemned to repeat history!

5. It’s tough to make predictions, especially about the future.

Who should be meditating?

Politicians, Wall-street honchos, soothsayers… almost anyone who’s in the business of selling hope and then short-changing the common man!

6. The future ain’t what it used to be

Who should be meditating?

Again the same breed of politicians, Wall-street honchos, soothsayers…
Also, let’s modify the quote a bit: The past ain’t what it used to be either.
And this should be kept in mind by the older generation and other nostalgia-cravers that keep selling us a glorious version of the past that never existed!

7. Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours

Who should be meditating?

Any and all professions who are perpetually busy while life passes them by. Think the character of Adam Sandler from the movie ‘Click’.

8. If you can’t imitate him, don’t copy him

Who should be meditating?

All those who think imitation and copying are the same thing. To give an example, remakes such as ‘The Departed’ are imitations of successes such as ‘Infernal Affairs’, not a copy. This quote goes not only for people who mistake one for the other, but also for those up-in-the-air beings who think imitation is necessarily bad.

9. “I’d find the fellow who lost it, and, if he was poor, I’d return it.” —when asked what he would do if he found a million dollars.

Who should be meditating?

All those people who think the poor should be taxed as much as the rich. To someone who has a billion dollars, losing a million is nothing. But if you had only a million, losing a million would truly leave you poor. Translate this to taxation, and Berra is making a great point.

10. It’s déjà vu all over again.

Who should be meditating?

People who keep repeating the same mistakes coz they hate to change. For people who live or work with them, it’s truly déjà vu all over again.

11. Cut my pie into six pieces, I don’t think I could eat eight.

Who should be meditating?

All those who think where the economy is concerned, getting the division of the pie right is more important than growing the pie. The point is whether the pie is cut into four pieces or eight, it’s the same pie, isn’t it?

12. Ninety percent of the game is half-mental.

Who should be meditating?

Everyone of course, since this applies to anything in life where you need to make a considerable effort – in other words anything worth doing at all.

13. I wish I had answer to that because I am tired of answering that question

Who should be meditating?

Journalists who keep asking the same clichéd questions… obviously. Though bad teachers could be included here as well.

14. You wouldn’t have won if we had beaten you.

Who should be meditating?

Arrogant winners who have forgotten the phrase ‘win some lose some’. Like Germany who lost to Argentina 2-4 in a friendly on 4th Sep, right after making a big pomp and circumstance about their win over Argentina in the World Cup finals (before the friendly match had started). (http://www.theguardian.com/football/2014/sep/04/germany-argentina-friendly-dusseldorf)

15. We made too many wrong mistakes

Who should be meditating?

Once again, people who keep repeating the same mistakes coz they hate change. There are mistakes that you make coz you didn’t know better, but as you gain more experience, you don’t make them anymore. Those are the ‘right’ mistakes. And then there are mistakes you keep making coz you are blind to life and never read history properly. Those are the ‘wrong’ uns. Some people don’t know the difference.

16. Nobody goes there anymore. It’s too crowded.

Who should be meditating?

Everyone, especially websites that mistake quantity for quality! And so without some degree of sane gate-keeping, things increasingly go downhill till the quote is actualized. Think ‘MySpace’.

17. When you come to a fork in the road, take it

Who should be meditating?

People who are paralyzed anytime a tough decision comes up. Happens innumerable times in life, isn’t it? The most famous example in history is of course that of Neville Chamberlain.

18. It ain’t over till it’s over.

Who should be meditating?

Again, everyone. Especially, sports-persons for whom this quote was originally meant… and entrepreneurs!

19. If you don’t know where you are going, you’ll end up somewhere else.

Who should be meditating?

Anyone who has a career to make… but especially students who are in college.

20. Half the lies they tell about me aren’t true

Who should be meditating?

Politicians, who taking advantage of the public perception that journalists do make many things up, label every adverse news as a ‘political conspiracy’. The point is – half the news labelled as ‘political conspiracies’ are not conspiracies at all, but rather the truth even if the truth may be embellished.

21. We’re lost, but we are making a good time.

Who should be meditating?

Everyone who thinks the way to get good work done is being mad about efficiency. Also entrepreneurs, but only in the first six months…

22. You have to give 100 percent in the first half of the game. If that isn’t enough, in the second half, you have to give what’s left.

Who should be meditating?

Everyone… and once again especially entrepreneurs for whom the second half is when the game really really starts.

23. It’s getting late early.

Who should be meditating?

Teenagers who don’t live within curfews, and parents who have unreasonable curfews!

And the best of them all…

24. If the world were perfect, it wouldn’t be.

Who should be meditating?

All the people who believe in holy rules and utopias and therefore have murdered billions since the world began in pursuit of their happy utopias!